I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
