So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
