I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
