Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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