This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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