Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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