I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
