Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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