This is not my ceiling
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
