whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i now understand why vodka
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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