It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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