this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A bitchslap is in order.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
