You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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