where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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