Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
