i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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