Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
