I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
