Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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