I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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