ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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