i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
