There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize