do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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