And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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