Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
