I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
