she was so not down for the gang bang
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The air was thick with penises
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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