they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize