I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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