I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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