While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
