Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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