Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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