My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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