He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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