I wish I only lived at night.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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