kristin has been a bad kristin
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ttyl tear gas
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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