I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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