OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
