Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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