Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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