There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
