so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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