pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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