He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize