I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
