i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize