his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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