And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
