Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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