I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
