Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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