I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
