Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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