are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
