I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
