I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
